You know them. Those women who are already cleaning their windows at seven o’clock in the morning, dropped off the children impeccably dressed at school at eight o’clock and then arrived at work perfectly on time. After which she goes to the gym for an hour, picks up the children, brings them to swimming lessons so that she can get some groceries to cook a fresh meal herself. While she helps the kids with the homework, she types out a meeting and then prepares a very healthy meal. Which is exactly ready for the moment that her husband comes home so that they can eat while they discuss the experiences of the day. While she brings the eldest to the music lesson after dinner, she calls her boss to go through the planning of tomorrow and she can make a brief assignment in the car for the extra education she is doing. Once home, the bed ritual begins and as soon as the kids are in bed, she can quietly do the laundry and the ironing …
You probably know them. Those power women who seem to have an infinite amount of energy. Who are the perfect mother, housewife, employee, colleague, sports buddy, girlfriend, husband or lover. How do they do that? How is it possible that they have so much energy?
But is that really so? Is the energy of this woman balanced?
On the face of it, it seems that appearances can deceive.
You can recognize women with a good energy balance by the following:
She is not often tired, is usually energetic but not over the top (otherwise you are in the overflow).
She has few physical complaints and is otherwise quickly recovered.
She has bright eyes and a fresh appearance.
She sleeps well and wakes up well rested in the morning.
She is emotionally balanced and otherwise quickly recovered.
She takes good care of herself (and that is clear to the outside world).
She complains little or not at all, she has a positive outlook on her life.
She knows who she is, what she wants and what is good for her and she also strives for that.
She takes enough rest every day, so time and place, for herself.
You don’t see her flying around all day …
Of course there are more signs, but you already get a good idea. Do you think our power woman from the example meets all these points? Or could it be that she is not as balanced as it seems? Could it be that this power woman does all of these things because she thinks she “should” do it? Because she wants to be perfect? Because otherwise she is not good enough?
Are you aiming for the “Power Woman” status?
There is nothing wrong with doing your best. Or expect quality from yourself or others. But as soon as the pursuit of perfectionism only lowers your energy, it is not healthy. If your motivations to do something come from fear, for example fear of criticism, fear of not doing it good (enough), to disappoint others or out of fear of finding yourself worth less, then it will not make you healthier. And enjoyment is therefore not possible.
5 tips to stay on top of perfectionism
1 – Be aware: You cannot be liked 100% of the time by 100% of the people.
That is really impossible. The other way around you don’t always like everyone, do you? So be aware of that when you are once again working hard to be liked by everyone …
2 – Be aware: You will never be perfect.
Is that just a disappointment?! Being perfect does not exist at all. Because it can always be better, faster, more beautiful or more effective. So you can easily stop putting your energy in that.
And the great thing is: nobody expects you to be perfect! Pay attention to how your environment reacts when you do something not quite perfect. Yes, OK, maybe the one person who always has something to criticize for everything (note: even if you do it right) but do you have to build on that all your life?
That immediately brings me to a logical consequence of this point:
2a – You are good the way you are.
Appreciate yourself for how you are now and give yourself compliments for what you have done even if it could be more or better. You are not your job. You are not the household. You are not your achievements. Don’t let your performance distort your self-image. You are good the way you are now. Point.
3 – Perfectionism holds you back.
If you always strive for perfection then you are never done (see point 2). Then you keep delaying. Perfection inhibits your creativity and your action. And that is a shame because especially in this time everything is going fast. “Now” is the keyword. Living in the now but also acting now. Whether it’s about work or personal development: START! And if you have the time, then evaluate and improve.
4 – Experience the process.
There is only NOW, and it would be a shame if you are always on your way to “someday”. And when your project is finished soon? Then you probably have another task in the future. Is that fun? The result is not the most important thing in your life. The way there, the process is just as important, so consider that and ask yourself whether you are enjoying yourself …
5 – You learn from your mistakes.
Everybody makes mistakes. Big names really didn’t get big right away, they did everything, tried everything, made mistakes, evaluated, repaired and improved. This is how most have grown. So don’t be afraid to make a mistake or do something less perfect. More importantly: start!
Do you really want to work on your perfectionism?
Have you had enough and want to be able to practice? Then join one of my favorite exercises:
Make a list of three things that you are very good at. I am sure you can do it. Then choose one. Now make sure you do this less well throughout the week on purpose. Yes, you read that right, go crazy and do your best for 80%! You can do it! 🙂
How do you deal with perfectionism? Does it cost you energy or are you very relaxed with it?
I would like to see your reaction to this article below on the blog!